Sunday, July 3, 2011
Blow jobs....what's the deal ladies??? Why are you against sucking a little dick (pun intended)...I get it....this day & age there are nasty cooties all over the place so no, you are not just gonna go bobbing for penis on just any man...yucky....but in a happy committed relationship why are so many women still so afraid of tongue slapping their man's mini me? You prudes are stupid....BJs have a lot of power....oh wait did you expect me to tell you how they bring you closer to your partner via increased sexual pleasure???? Well it can and that's nice and all BUT if you are smart it will get you out of nights when you don't feel like having regular intercourse and if you are lucky....a quick one in the parking lot of the local mall will score you a new pair of shoes (maybe even some perfume). They say the pen is mightier then the sword....so is knob gobbling....suck that sword hard and proud for a few minuets (well maybe longer if you haven't had much practice) and you will have more power than you ever dreamed of....ever have a man come home after a night out with the boys and he's all ready to go "whispering" all sorts of stupid crap (your boobs are like little kegs of beer...or.. you know I'm sexy lets do me) and smelling like they rolled in fried mushrooms and Jack Daniels??? Yea a fast and easy way to get him to pass out is to suck his dick.....then when he wakes up in the morning not only will he think you are amazing and understanding but he won't give you shit when you ask him to cut the grass. (Lucky me my hubby is not dumb enough to come home like that...and he still cuts the grass). What about nights when you've stayed up late watching some Lifetime movie and your man thinks it's time to get all steamy but you just wanna go to bed... blow him.....you don't even have to take off your jammies and in 3 minuets you are fast asleep my friend ...and for you not to take advantage of this is straight up helmet wearing retarded. I know some women find it gross....um....hello...I'd rather get to rinse my mouth out with some Listerine for a few seconds then have that stuff dripping down my leg for hours or wake up to find the rubber still floating in the toilet....eeewwww. Plus...if you give him a little head from time to time they are more then willing to give you some too....not that men ever seem to really need motivation for that....most men can't wait to eat out at the sushi bar....which brings me to another point.....what's with the ladies who don't like getting kitty a bath???? The one reason a normal woman would not like it is because she doesn't like the person doing it.....and sometimes that doesn't even hinder the enjoyment. Some men are not as good at it...but no man wants to be bad at it so they don't mind a little coaching....you just need to do guide them....as long as you use the sexy voice they won't get offended....slow down, speed up, higher, lower, wetter etc are all fine things to say as long as you use that lusty voice with a little moan in between....then they take mental notes of what breaks the dam so that next time they can feel like the tuna tasting king. I've heard a few prudes say they find getting oral is disgusting....really...but letting an ugly penis slam in and out of your vagina is beautiful??? I don't know about you but having my lady bits smooched by the man I love seems a lot less horrifying then having his huge ball sack slam against my asshole while he beats the hell out of my whoo ha....however it's just as enjoyable :) yea buddy....so come on you frigid bitches....go getcha some new shoes! Peace Out!