Friday, February 19, 2010

Tea Is For Two & So Is The Horizontal Mambo!

I was reading an article in favorite magazine...Marie Claire...about a lady that agreed to a threesome for her husbands birthday. It explained why she did it and how she found someone, how it all went down and how it made her feel never explained why her husband was such a fucking prick. I know that lots of guys fantasize about having two women at once but if a married / committed man is really wanting and willing to do that then he's an asshole. I love my husband and thank God he is not into married sluttyness because I would beat his ass with a vacuum cleaner if he ever asked for a menage a trois.... What a horrible selfish thing to do...and don't think of me as some prude...I do have 3 kids and my vagina does all sorts of wonderful things....but I just don't think some other chick needs to find out what those things are while my man watches etc.....and I really don't play well with others to begin with....much less share my favorite toy (that would be my husband's penis)....maybe it's because I'm an only child...maybe it's because of my values (yes, I have a few of those)....but I think it's because...I'm not a nasty whore and I would prefer my husband to keep his dick to himself (well him and me). Not that a threesome would work well for us anyways...I think we would scare the girl off...come on think about it....she would have to sign some sort of waiver....first of hubby and I are on the fluffy side (meaning we are fat) so that's a lot of weight being thrown at one person....second...I'm like a piranha....I love to do some biting....I doubt she would like to explain the teeth marks on her face and arms....then there's always the chance that one of my 800 kids would come barreling through the door....can we say awkward????....did I mention the noises....yea...the first few times I banged my husband he scared the crap out of me with this growl like's a deep primal sound that now really turns me on but at first I thought I had just screwed a grizzly bear....and I well...I just make little noises....until the...OH GOD BABY and the OH YEA LIKE THAT...stuff comes out of my mouth at a really alarming volume...after all that she would need some therapy...and I am only going to be responsible for screwing up my children....not random idiots that agree to smash with married people....they are apparently all ready on the edge of sanity....I don't feel like pushing them off with my boobies. So I guess it's safe to say my marriage is closed to the public....well other then what I spill on the blog...and I like it that the rest of what you like...just remember....inviting someone into your bed not only welcomes doubts and fears but herpes and the clap...nothing says I love you like a trip to the free clinic! Peace out!

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