Saturday, March 6, 2010

All That Work Just To Be Covered In Jelly & Marker...

Can anyone please tell me why in the hell they use so many friggen wires to strap down the Barbie dolls to the packaging???? I get it they are trying to keep people from shoplifting them...well here is the deal...Barbies and Bratz and Scene dolls etc...only cost like ten the only people that might be trying to steal them would be little girls...and trust me...2 wire ties will keep them at bay....there is no need to harness the doll down with over 6 wire should no longer get to do this unless it's S&M Barbie and she is suppose to be that way....I'm guessing the a-hole at whatever company makes these dolls do not have children of their own because then they would understand how hard it is to get the stupid thing out while getting pressured by an antsy child yelling at the top of her lungs...I want my Barbie!!!! I am now boycotting buying these dolls new and will only purchase them from garage that some other idiot has to open them up for me....screw this noise.....I need to use a bolt cutters just to get the hair loose...that's right they even wire the hair down....crazy right????? Then as I'm pulling the stupid wire out it stabbed me up under my thumb nail....son of a bitch!!!!...I would rather be punched in the kidney then be stabbed under my fingernails.....thank god I'm not like on blood thinners or something...I would have died! know that I don't even bother getting the gay little accessories out child has no real interest in them...and they just end up on the floor for me to step on in the middle of the night....sending me into a fury that is only rivaled by old people driving in front of me going under the speed limit with their blinker on....ya know one day I stepped on a tiny shoe of some sort...for like the third time....and I finally lost it....I shoved it down the garbage disposal and let er rip while screaming...take that you evil fucker... and started downing wine straight from the bottle while I listened to the sound of it being mangled to a was a sad sad moment in time....I'm not proud of my actions but I'm not apologizing for them either....the itty bitty shoe of death can suck it....well it can't anymore...because it's dead....hahahahhah....I just know that one day a little Bratz purse will cause me to slip and fall and crack my head open...then I will end up enraged and set my whole house on fire while drinking Patrone on the front lawn watching it go down in flames until I pass out....I will wake up next to Bret Michaels on some episode of Crazy Bitch Rehab with Dr. Drew...where I will promptly be kicked out for trying to seduce Dr. Drew....I don't know why but that little guy just gets my juices flowing....weird since my type is big and if...God husband died and both Dr. Drew and Jason Stathem both came to give me a sympathy bang...I would have to flip a coin to decide who I would knock boots with....I think it's something to do Dr. Drew's soft voice...and his brains....I like smart...just not dickhead smart....I am way off track here....the point of all of this rambling is if you have arthritis you can't open up Barbie packages and if you are slightly shaky because you are a drunk you can't open up Barbies...and if you don't know where the fucking scissors are and you have a screaming kid it's impossible to open up the God damn Barbie!!....stupid plastic big boobed whore doll...grrr!!!!!!!! Well...better go...I'm taking the kids to Toys r Us....I hear there is a big sale on all the Hannah Montana figures....I will probably be writing my next blog from the ER...Peace out.

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