Monday, March 8, 2010
I'm A Fan Of The Big Gold Man
Anyone else love the Academy Awards as much as I do? Don't get me wrong...I love almost all of the award shows...I always tune in....I am a straight up award show junkie...I watch the SAG awards, the Globes, the Emmys the Grammys, VMAs and even the Teen Choice Awards....but my most favorite night of the year is Oscar night....my friends know not to call and bother me...my family asks me weeks in advance what I'm planning....which is always about the same....some sort of bubbly...unless my stupid ass is knocked up again....and whatever food I'm craving....this year was pecan pie, sour bright crawlers and popcorn....last year was pumpkin cheesecake, bagel bites and beef jerky...lol...I didn't say it was gourmet food...just food I like to munch on...lol. Last year I sported a cute little tiara that lit up...and this year I made my own gown....it was very school project looking but hey...it only took me 2 hours and was free....I just wanted to amp up my Oscar spirit....maybe next year I will go to Home Depot and buy some red carpet....(no dirty jokes!) I get so excited over the whole event...the decor, the clothes, the speeches...I really like how they give a nod to all aspects of cinema and it's not just about the actors themselves....My family thinks I'm nuts with my insane Oscar fascination but they have learned to deal with it.....I'm sure it's not the only thing on their list of crazy shit Mommy does...I keep hoping that one day I will win some contest and actually get to go to the Oscars....I would just fucking die.....to get to see all those amazing stars and be there while history is being made....hoooooolllllyyyyyy shit...I would so have to wear a diaper under my dress because I know I would piddle my pants with excitement.....you know I have my outfit all picked out too.... I would wear a dark rose colored gown with sparkly stuff all over it, skinny heels with open toes and they will be covered in dark rose colored crystals, I will have minimal jewels on so my dress can speak for itself and I will carry a small white crystal encrusted clutch..... my hair will be half up in a loose bun with long big curls in the back swept off to one side.....it goes best with my bone structure....I might get some weave sewn in to make it super full and long lol....I would so have to have my girl Nicole Patterson do my makeup etc....she's an amazing artist...I hope someone else does not book her that night...anyways...enough plugging of her....can't help it...I'm so proud of her.....but back to my Oscar love...I absolutely think there should be vibrator in the form of the famous award....that way I can show the Academy who the real Best Director, Best Animated Movie and Best Supporting Actress really is.....woo hoo....I could celebrate Oscar every night!!! I would add Best song to that list but we all know I can't carry a tune and during sex I sound more like a squeezed billy goat then amazing songstress....sigh...can't win 'em all...oooohhhh wait...I can take home the best original screen play award....I will call my blockbuster film....Southern Flower....and my hubby can be the executive producer if you know what I mean.....ok...this has taken a weird turn...this may be whole different type of award show....what do they call the porn awards???? Well...gotta go....I'm having the hubby take me shopping for a video camera....so I can start my awesome film career...no worries....no naughty stuff...I don't think ya'll can handle that....Peace out!