Sugar & Spice...more like Whiskey & Cigars...that's what my girls are made of!

There comes a time in every child's life when their talents come to shine and their mother's realize all the things they could be when they grow up....and as a mother you feel the need to help nurture these talents so that your child can reach his or her full potential...this happened to me yesterday...in fact both of my younger daughters showed me exactly what they might be good at...which for such young children is simply amazing....however I have decided not to help them along with these specific talents....perhaps I will wait it out and hope they have a few more hidden ones and we can just work with those....now I know you are asking yourself why....this is amazing...to be so young and already show such promise...well...here's the deal...I think they are going to porn stars....yep...that's right....I think my sweet little girls are going to grow up and challenge the great Jenna Jamison.....have you ever wanted to slit your wrists???? I thought about it when twice in one day I saw some fairly disturbing behavior from my children...let's start with my infant...yep that's right I said infant....there she was sitting in her cute little bouncy seat, playing with the little pink baby toys and all of a sudden...she shoved her fist in her mouth...that's right ya'll her entire fist...WTF?!....Could we not start off with rolling over or a first word....no...she had to shove her whole friggen hand in her mouth!!!!! Then...my toddler...who ya'll already know keeps me on my toes....but now I need to move her far far away from people....decided to make me weep....not tears of joy...tears of fear...fear that she will someday be found at the Playboy mansion....here is what happened...I had to pee...and she wanted to play with my makeup...so I bribed her with a bag of M&Ms...yes I believe in bribes...anyways...I left her on my bed with Spongebob on and went to tinkle...I was gone for all 17 seconds....and came out to find her totally naked and lying on top of a pile of candy....yep...that's right just like something out of Hustler....to top it off...when I picked her up to get her redressed....a green M&M fell out of her buttcrack and onto the floor....I now need therapy...and will never ever eat M&Ms again...ever...ever...ever. So...once again I was stupid and asked her a question...I should have learned my lesson on that....and I asked her...Honey...why did you do that...she answered...Candy is nummy good!....sigh....now I know why so many parents end up drunk and unaware of what their children are doing...it's because the truth is so hard to face.....I am trying to look at the silver lining....but it will always be in the back of my head...that they are naturally drawn to the erotic arts....and I will have to hope that perhaps maybe I will get hit by a bus before it happens. Well...gotta go...I'm sewing them some dresses that cover them from neck to toe and can not be lifted up due to the weights I will sew into the hems and can not be taken off without a padlock key....which reminds me I should get to the hardware store before it closes. Peace out.