Sunday, January 31, 2010

If you don't pay taxes...I'm not interested

Men are stupid...ok not stupid...well not all of them are stupid...but all of them are easily turned on...which for me is a good thing...I don't have lots of time to put extra effort into getting my husband all jazzed up for some spicy I think God did that for a reason....lots of women have very full, kids, errands, pets, home...etc....we just don't have it in us to do a lot of prep time to get a quickie....not saying that once in awhile we shouldn't go the extra mile....but for the most part it's nice to know that I can just turn to my hubby and say "Turn off the TV and get on" and he's all ready to go....or if I'm feeling naughty I can just get naked and say "hurry up"....and bam...he's at attention. To prove my point...look at strip clubs for guys....all it takes for men is for a chick...not even a hot chick.... to come on stage nearly naked.... and they start throwing cash at her....way to's a bit more difficult for the male strippers to turn women on...we need a little more....why do you think male dancers come out dressed as pilots, doctors and sailors????? Because it leads us to believe they have a job....and women are turned on by men that are employed....we don't want some lazy asshole that sits on our couch and takes our money and eats our food...don't get me wrong the dancing is nice and all but I'm not giving you cash unless you work for it and by that I mean you get up, leave the house and go to work! While I'm on this topic....I'm not so impressed with the average male stripper....they are not really my type....where can I find a group that has some big furry men???? These skinny hairless metro looking boys need to go...I want a MAN....and don't get me wrong..dressing up like a lawyer or naughty nerd is cute and all...but my engine gets reved by give me a 6'0 280lb firefighter or mechanic...manly stuff where they really can just throw you around and use their me a lumberjack or a welder.....not only do ladies like men that work we like men that are useful.....that 5'7 140lb cowboy isn't going to do shit for me...not only would I break him....I don't have cattle...what fucking good is he???? I want a plumber or a police officer....(swat outfits are wicked hot) and for crying out loud stop lathering yourself in that coconut oil....that's not manly...come out smelling of beer and Old Spice....I will drop a ten spot on you if you have that yummy man smell....and am I the only one who does not think a dude in hot pink thong is not sexy....that's just friggen weird in my book...I should not get your underpants confused with mine...I like my men in boxer briefs and on the right chubby guy even some tighty whitey undies....All in all I love the everyday man....the tiny dude doing flips while wearing a glitter covered cock sock does not make my vagina tingle...come out and spike a football and grill a burger....then I will so let you spank me with the bar-b-que tongs.....Momma's fantasy is a guy that cooks, works and has something for me to hold you want to get a 20 dollar bill out of a sandwich, grow some back hair and tell me how to fix the washer....then you give me lap dance....
Well gotta go....I think I will start my own male entertainment group...I should call them...Passed Puberty....or The Macho Militia....perhaps...Blue Collar Cummings....I don't know I will have to think about it...but if you know any big boys wanting to audition I will placing an ad on Craigslist....Peace out!

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