Not So Crafty Bitch

I feel like a giant idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I decided I NEEDED to have the kids help me make one of those melted crayon projects for one of my windows. You know a bunch of crayon shavings melted between wax paper....so I bought a box of cheap crayons...found my iron and pulled out the wax paper....then I just fucking stood there wondering how to shave the crayons....first I whittled at them with a butter knife but that went to slow...then I used a box cutter but only ended up chopping my crayons into bits...then I got a "great" ideal...I would use the cheese grater....it worked...and it was quick!!! woot woot....until I was done and realized I completely hosed my kitchen utensil....FAIL!




To make matters worse....just today (a week after the incident) I was checking out blogs and saw that someone else was doing a similar project so I had to see how they shaved their crayons (tee hee...that sounds dirty)....that's when it happened....the moment I had to come to terms with the fact that I am mentally challenged...I wanted to die....I started to cry...which quickly turned to laughter at my stupidity. Do you know what normal people use to get crayon shavings???? I'm sure you do....because chances are you are not retarded like I am. They used a motherfucking pencil sharpener! Yep....DUH....why did I not think of this???? I am so ashamed of myself...but apparently not enough to no share my blunder with y'all. Hope you are having a good laugh at my expense....otherwise this is all for nothing. Wish me luck on my next project.....Peace Out!





The finished project

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbors Wood

You know you have a problem when you steal from your own friends.....no I'm not talking about drugs.....yes drugs are a problem just not my problem...I'm talking about crafts. I am a craft head....ha ha get??? like crack head but crafts....not funny? Ok..on to my story....
Last night I hit a new low in my quest for craft supplies.... We were invited over to a friends house for the first time and they live in the most beautiful area, great house, surrounded by trees and that's where I stopped looking....as of late I have needed twigs and branches for craft projects and I do not have any trees....so while outside of my friend's home I started wandering around looking for branches on the ground to take....however they clean their yard and I could not find any....I got to the front of their home and found this awesome birch tree...I shook the tree, nothing fell....I kicked the tree, nothing fell so I jumped up and grabbed a branch....totally not expecting to break off I didn't brace myself and to my surprise the branch snapped right off and came falling down to the ground....and so did my ass....quickly trying to recover before my friends decide to come find me I shot up to my feet only to hear their neighbor across the street chuckling at me :/ ......that wasn't the worst part...now I had to get into my mini van. I open the back door and hastily started to shove it in...but it caught on my stroller and stabbed me in my boob!!!! Now I'm holding my wounded funbag and yelping out cuss words only to once again hear the neighbor chuckle at me....I finally get the lengthy branch in my vehicle and head inside.....realizing the easily humored neighbor would tell them what I did I decided to fess up....luckily they found it funny and didn't ask me to leave. However if I do ever get invited back I am bringing some gardening gloves and a saw! Well better go... I'm off to make some masterpieces with my stolen wood....let's hope getting it out of my van is easier then it was getting it in! Peace Out!

Cute Popsicle Bunting!

Well my pre schooler is brilliant....I was sitting on the couch with a bunch of popsicle sticks and she asked me what I was doing...so I said I was trying to think of something fun to do with them and she said...MOM!!!!! Make Popsicles!!!....yep she is brilliant.






So I cut out popsicle shapes (freehand obviously) from a well worked (that means old) shirt box. Then I let her paint and decorate them....She loves her some glitter :)







Then we glued the sticks to the back (I used tacky glue but Elmers or hot glue would work just fine) and then we glued some string we found in the basement across the backs of all of the popsicles and hung them up across the kitchen windows.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE it....we had a ton of fun and it turned out to be a great summer decoration.

Shake Shake Shake Senora

So I've been trying to find salt and pepper shakers that I like but since I'm cheap I just can't bring myself to spend 15.00 or more on shakers....and since I hate pepper I don't use them all that often....we do have a set but they are friggen tiny and need to be refilled like every use....so while hunting in the dollar store for items to decorate a tropical hat with I found some nice sized shakers....so for a buck I had to get them....however they were clear and boring.....but not for long :)




I started off by sanding and taping them....





Then I sprayed them gold.....






I Mod Podged some feathers (that I always have in my stash) on top and finished off with a clear coat. These are much more fun :)

I Got Bank!

We've been keeping all the spare change in a plastic baggy....which works just fine but me needing to do a quick craft before my head exploded decided to turn an empty formula can into a coin bank. It took like no time and cost me nothing...I had all the stuff on hand in my craft stash....I put a little slit in the lid, took the wrapper off the can and decorated it with napkin...gotta love Mod Podge!!!!!





Don't mind the salt and pepper shakers....that's another project I'm working on....

tweeny bopper project

Need some cheap summer fun? No..not me after a bottle of 3 Buck Chuck...I'm talking about upcycled plastic store bags. Just cut out the middle section of a few different bags





and braid them...ta da..super cute...super cheap bracelet. Use bags from different stores to get mixes of color and if you want you can add some beads or something...me being cheap I would just cut up some colored drinking straws and use those. Enjoy and Peace Out!

summer style for the cool pre-school girl

I was going to toss out this old shirt that two of my daughters had grown out of....I almost always donate old stuff to Goodwill or to a friend with kids but this one had gotten some holes in it...but the cheapo in me could not bare to put it in the garbage...so I cut it up into strips and put some poney beads on it (had them left over from another bracelet project my preschooler and I did a few months back)....so now my darling daughter has some fun summer necklaces. I know they are no Chanel but hey they have color and cost me nothing so if they get lost I won't freak out. I also cut out the little picture it had on the front...I'm sure I can find something to do with that...Hope y'all are enjoying the first day of summer! Peace Out!