Friday, January 20, 2012

Thank Goodness For Paying At The Pump!

I hate the smell of bubble gum...weird right??? But there is a reason....and it's a bit odd.....153 years ago when I was a small child I had my tonsils taken was the worst summer ever....not only did I have my first surgery but I also got the chicken pox (from my nemesis no less....I still hate that bitch) anywhoo...back to the infamous bubble gum....when I was at the hospital they let me pick out a scent that they would put into the knock out gas right??? and me loving bubble gum thought it would be awesome....well.....getting my tonsils removed was fucking took me forever to heal...I was constantly barfing up blood and ended up addicted to codeine...and now every time I smell bubble gum I get all panic attackey. The worst place is a gas station....I hate going into those....they have oodles and oodles of gum and I always end up all tense and freaked out....not because of the drunk homeless guy that tries to help me into my car for change or because of the local drug dealer on the pay phone....not even because of the pissy crack whore buying Redbulls and rolling papers with her EBT card who keeps giving me the look like she wants to shank me for the contents of my Miley Cyrus wallet...if she only knew that she has way more money on her card then I have in the's because while I'm standing there wating to purchase my very large fountain drink the teller and customer in front of me are having a super lengthy conversation in fricken Spanish...and all I can smell is the aroma of the bubble gum and I just KNOW there is some creepy doctor dressed like he's from the 1920's with rusty hacksaw waiting to drag me off into the shadows and perform some horrible, torturous surgery leaving me to bleed to death while he drives off in my mini van looking for my family...
See, told you it was odd....and now that I read it I feel a bit disturbed....I really should e-mail this to Dr. Phil...but he would just tell me that I can't let the pigs out of the pen if I can't skip the ducks across the pond...or some stupid shit like I guess I will just pack some pepper spray and take some krav maga classes. Wish me luck....Peace Out.

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