Wednesday, April 3, 2013

C Is For Cunnilingus

C is for Cunnilingus ....I know...I am always talking about sex stuff...it's because my mind is always always always in the gutter and if I had to pick something other than sex stuff C would be for Crap because that's all I got. I thought about it all day and had pondered doing Cake (I fucking love cake)...I even made one..the kids helped frost it but nothing ridiculously exciting happened. No fires, no eggs in the eyes....nada. So...that would be a tad bit boring. So here I am with C is for Cunnilingus...which is fine with me...it's one of my favorite things. It's right up there with boxed wine and cake. If I could have all three at once I would be soooo happy....well no...I thrash around like that chick in the exorcist so it would probably get really messy and I already do enough laundry..so maybe we will leave the snacks out if it. Isn't it sad when someone goes down on you and it sucks???? You just lay there knowing that if this is bad...then the sex will be probably be bad too...so you debate if you should just grab your panties and go. Why chance a bad lay??? All guys think they rock at it too and well...not everyone is a rockstar. Most can be taught if you feel like putting the time in...but you must shame them...no one wants to be bad at licking pussy....so don't lie and be like Oh it's awesome...then they won't want direction....just be honest and say, Hey this is awful....if you want me to cum you need to actually find my clit! But...when it's good it's good and is great for when you don't want to get totally undressed or when you don't have a lot of time but just need to get off.... If your partner does not like to go downtown to chow then you need to kick them to the curb and beat them with a bat....well not the beating part....then you will go to jail and end up giving cunnilingus to some huge chick named Pat...no fun! Well...I hope I have rambled on enough for this post...I'm going to go have cake now. Peace Out!

7 comments:

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  2. :-) Love it!

    Your post rocks, too!

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  3. I love boxed wine, I never seem to have a corkscrew for the "fancy" bottles. The one time I did get my hands on a fancy bottle of wine I tried to pry the cork out with a screwdriver. It did not end well. Box wine is just so much easier.

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    1. I tried using a screw & screwdriver once....I cut my fucking hand & wrecked the bottle.... Long Live The Box!

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