Saturday, November 28, 2009

Twinkle Toes all of my weirdness one thing that really cracks my husband up is my issues with socks.... he claims I have some crazy sock phobia....this is not entirely true. I don't hate all fact I find some of them to be cute and I will wear them if I must...I do prefer to be barefoot if possible...and I may take that to extremes at when I was working I would wear open toed high heels...sometimes they would be backless too...then when I was at my desk I would take them off even if I was only there for a minuet...if no one was in the office I would leave them off and walk around barefoot. I have also been known to drive barefoot as well...I feel like I have better control if there is nothing between my foot and the pedals. I absolutely have no shame...if I go somewhere...even most restaurants I will take my shoes off and then sit on my feet....I get all antsy if I have to leave them on for too long. I cope better if I have flip flops on....that's why most of you have only every seen me with them on...they are as close to barefoot as I can get...but even so I usually kick them off as soon as possible. I do detest wearing socks but I am not totally afraid of them....however there are a few things that straight up just freak me wet socks....ooooohhhhh my god...just the thought of wearing wet socks makes my whole body shutter....and then I start to's so damn gross...that tight wet thick sock all wet just squishing all over the's awful...I'd rather drink old milk....or shower in hot pee than have wet socks near me!!! Also...I hate when I see other peoples socks and they are all askew....not a joke I start yelling...I have even been know to try and fix them....and heaven forbid the sock has twisted completely around and is upside down...that fucks me all up...I actually have to cover my eyes and start screaming for the person to take the sock off...I can no longer be comfortable after that....and there is no adjusting it because now I know it's all stretched out and even if they turn it back around I will be thinking about how it's just not right...all loose and saggy in places it shouldn't be...bleh! My husband has learned to quickly strip his socks off if I see them all messed up....not only do they need to be off but they need to be out of sight....seeing them will start making me nuts's like they are taunting me...laughing at me....I can't effin handle it....I would throw those evil toe covers away if I could!!!!
When I put socks on my little one...I spend more time making sure they are on perfect....cuz otherwise I just sit and picture them in her shoe getting all bunched up and not sitting right and eventually will take her socks and shoes off and start all over. Not that she ever seems to have issues with them....but I can't concentrate on anything else if I feel that her baby toe is getting smashed by some ill fitted sock! My oldest daughter always always always wears two different socks....and I have learned not to get to uptight about it...most of the time they are similar in style...she likes those little no show socks and she wears the same brand so the thickness is about the same....but every once in awhile she will wear one that is just all friggen different and I can't stand it....she has to either leave the room and not come back or she has to take them off!!!! I don't know how she does it...she claims it's her signature style but I suspect it's her way of fucking with me....she is a ginger after all. My husband has been known to wear different socks....they are similar in style but they will have a different color stripe on the toe...and yea well...I'm not having that on earth he can wear that all damn day long and not lose his mind is beyond me....I could never ever handle would eat at me and I would have to take them off and burn them....then to top it off I would feel that the socks have stretched out my shoes differently...and I will never wear those again either.
I don't know how anyone in their right mind can wear those socks that look like gloves....that is a flippen torture device...I would die...I would hyperventilate, have a heart attack and die...having my toes not only totally surrounded by a sock but then all pushed together and shoved in a shoe....oh hell to the no!!!! Waterboard me instead....the glove/sock thing just is not gonna happen!
So...I don't know how this all became a problem for me...when I was a child I wore socks...because I was told to....I don't know if something happened and I got like a crazy ass blister or something...but I know it really started to amp up in my early 20's....and has gotten more intense as time went on...I guess it could be worse...but I admit it's kind of weird....all my issues are kind of on the weird side...I won't eat fruit that is cut into squares....rectangles and triangles are fine...just not squares...and I can't cut them to change the shape because I know that they were squares....I don't mind if other people munch on them...I don't start throwing the fruit away or anything...I just won't let the squares near my mouth. I blame the Del Monte fruit cups my Grandmother packed in my lunches...I either always spilled them on myself and looked like an idiot or I would end up cutting my knuckle on the metal lid...that shit in the cups was always friggen square I just stay the hell away....
Don't judge know deep down all ya'll have some weird fear...I know a girl that refuses to touch hamburger....she can handle every other kind of meat (lol that sounded dirty) just not ground beef....and I know another girl who has to have someone else take sweatshirts out of the washer because of the sound she thinks they there...I am not the only messed up person on the planet....probably just the most weird one you know...and I can live with that....well gotta run...I have a bagel in the toaster and I need to make sure the cream cheese is put on just right or I feel the crunchy bagel edges will have a better chance at cutting my mouth....peace out!!!


  1. I've lived here 5 years and I just had a neighbor tell me : "This is the first time I've seen you not barefoot". Also, I got home the other day and realized I had on one blue sock and one black sock. I looked in my drawer and found another pair just like it :o)

  2. This is probably a whole lot funnier to me as I actually live with you. I just chalk it up to all the strange phobias you have that make you want to vomit and petrify you. I love you and all your weirdness though honey.:-0