G

G is for Gird Your Loins. One of my fav movie quotes from, The Devil Wears Prada. I say it often...along with several others. I love movie quotes....I use them all the time. I cannot drive near a K mart without my Rain Man impression spilling out of my mouth. I can't go to an ATM without yelling, Show Me The Money! And of course....I ask my husband, Why Do You Make Me Be Mean To You?....from Sweet Home Alabama. I seriously could go on and on with movie lines....but I am tired and need to go hide Easter eggs. Do you have any favorite movie quotes???? Please share. Peace Out!

F

F if for...fuck it. Sorry...I had something all set up about flop flips but my friends came over and I got a little loaded and I now I have nothing. I will wake up tomorrow and not be ashamed. I do love me some floppy flips but I love me some Franzia too and it was just one of those rare nights when the kids went to bed on time so...yep....I had a great evening. F it! TGIF bitches. Peace Out.

Not Your Granny's Panties....

E is for Edible Underwear. Yep...you read that right....panties you can eat. Am I the only one who thinks these are stupid????? Only two types of women buy these things....skanks and married women in need of something other then the same old routine. I'm not even going to touch the skanks ( and you shouldn't either....you might catch something)....I'm just going to ask the married women WTF are you thinking? I understand the way to man's heart is through his stomach but if you want Big Daddy to go downtown for dinner....don't fill him up with the Fruit RollUp you just slapped on your vagina! It will end up just turning into something silly and there goes the soap opera sex you were hoping for. I know they have the ones made out of hard candy....like the necklaces....but do you really want to chance him taking a bite of your banana split???? OUCH! Plus that's a candy I remember eating as a child so it just seems creepy.

If you really want some skin-e-max type action....then YOU need to take it....and if he doesn't want to play....get a divorce. Peace Out!

D.....is for....um....wait...I know I know it...hmmm

D is Dementia. I had this whole little silly story about how I was sure I had dementia. You know the whole...I can never find my keys, I can't ever remember why I walked into a room and then blame it on the kids....yadda yadda yadda.

BUT....last night I was talking to my Aunt on the phone and I was telling her all about the A to Z Blog Challenge that I was doing and when I went to tell her what I was planning for the letter D...I blanked! I started to snicker and had to explain that my D theme had to do with not being able to remember stuff....of coarse we started laughing hysterically....and I just kept rambling on about how I had written down etc....more laughter...after several minuets it finally hit me and I screamed out DEMENTIA that's it! We continued to giggle and she teased me about how it only gets worse as you get older.

So...I can't blame that little piece of irony on the kids....maybe the boxed wine....but I only had a snort so...I guess I'm just losing my shit. Oh well....soon I won't even know it. I hope I end up in good assisted living facility....the one my great aunt was in kept calling us to tell us she escaped! WTF???? I can see it now...I will be out and about in the middle of town with nothing but a bedazzled house coat on asking people if they know who I am and if they have any wine. Wish me luck on the wine! Peace Out!

C Is For Cat Lady

C is for Cat Lady. No...I am not one...yet. Only for two reasons.....I keep getting married and I still have kids in the house. Once the children are gone and yet another husband or two have tired of me I will be all alone in some one bedroom rental somewhere with 19 cats. I guess I have three reasons....reason number three is I am super selfish...true cat ladies put the cats first...they will go with out necessities and food for themselves so that their "babies" can eat. I personally am at a stage in my life where I still enjoy things ....like toothpaste, dish soap, chicken wings, smart phones, getting my hair done and Netflix...some day that will all seem unimportant and my world will consist of cats and vodka. I would say boxed wine but I may need something with a little more kick in it to deal with urine smell and the fact that my children will never visit me.

To be honest....I am sort of looking forward to it....just me and cats chillen and having happy hour whenever we want! Well, better go.....WalMart has a sale on cat litter.....better start stocking up! Peace out!

B Is For Boxed Wine

B is for Boxed Wine. Yep...I'm a fan. I know plenty of people who won't touch the stuff but if it was so friggen awful, it wouldn't exist. I always have a box (or two) in the fridge...right next to the juice boxes. Which reminds me..the Franzia company hasn't returned my e-mail where I suggested they have a spot on the top of the box for a large straw. How rude.

I started drinking boxed wine when my recycling bin got a little to heavy for me to drag out...actually that's a big fat lie....I started drinking it because I'm cheap. I very rarely pay more than $4.00 a bottle for wine...unless I'm really craving ChocoVine (yummy)....but it was a pain in the ass to load all the those bottles in the fridge....so my hubby took a look at the boxed wine and suggested that I try it....so I did and I have been happily sucking it down ever since.

I personally think the whole idea of having wine in box is a fantastic idea....you can't knock it over and spill it. I have yet to hear of it being used as a weapon....but I have seen someone take a bottle to someones head...ouch. Oh and when it's empty you can hide treats in it so the rest of the family doesn't eat them....hahahahaha!

I may not be able to get all my friends to jump on the boxed wine bandwagon....but I don't give a rat's ass....that's just more for Momma. Peace Out.

A Is For Abracadabra

A is for Abracadabra.....want to know why? Because it's going to take some major magic to get me to the end of this A To Z Challenge. I seriously have no idea why I am doing this....I have horrible writing skills, I'm unorganized, I'm a super duper procrastinator so signing up for this was straight stupid on my behalf. It was a total moment of weakness....between the peer pressure of some fellow bloggers (you know who you are) and some boxed wine I decided to try it.

I've already checked out some of the other challengers...and their shit is legit. I'm screwed! In honor of my inevitable crash and burn I'm gonna raise my plastic, polka dot goblet filled with cheap zinfandel and try to blow this hot mess I've gotten myself into out of the water....tired mom style!

So, buckle up and let's see where this crazy magic carpet ride takes us. Hmmmm...I guess they probably don't have seat belts on a magic carpets...perhaps wear protective gear like shin guards and helmets. Peace Out!