Wordless Wednesday 3/14/12

Juice Cleanse Update #13

Day 9....later afternoon. Well...not much to report. I'm about the same. Feeling pretty good. Wish I had pushed myself a little more to get some exercise in but all in all I am happy with what's going on with my results.

Since my post has nothing interesting I am going to give you a list of things I hate buying at the store....not that they are interesting or that you care but it will add some bulk to my post.


1. Paper towels...they are expensive and then you throw them out. It kills me.


2. Q-tips....not that they need to purchased frequently but for some reason I can never locate them in the store and it puts me in a bad mood.


3. Cat litter....its heavy and yet another thing I'm just going to toss out....plus it will include turds....awesome.



4. Tampons....it means I have my period so obviously I'm in pain and cranky...now to top it off I get to spend money on cotton plugs and pray I don't ruin my favorite yoga pants. (chances are I'm buying a cake and huge bottle of booze too)


5. Socks.....the friggen cat (who needs the litter) has a fascination with socks and drags them all over....so no matching pairs ever leave my house. I once had a cat that ate socks....only the dirty ones....weirdo. I also hate wearing sock... just the idea of my foot being enclosed freaks me out....so it's just not a comfortable purchase.


Ok, well now that I have bored you to tears have a great day and remember.....I'm probably only a few months away from another diet so prepare for the insanity! Peace Out.

Juice Cleanse Update #12

Day 7 late morning. Well...I am way less of a lunatic then I was..(about the diet that is....I'm still a nutjob). In fact I'm feeling amazing. I'm down 18 pounds, the headaches are gone and I just feel better all over. The time change made it a little difficult to get up and at em this morning but I already got a lot done and now I get to spend the day having fun with the kiddos. I'm so fricken motivated to drop all this unhealthy bs and just be me. I've always be fucking fabulous but it takes less effort now ;) I still have weak moments....last night I wanted onion rings sooooooooo bad...but the craving passed just as quickly as it came...no tears or meltdowns! I wish I could see the weight loss in my body...well I can but it's all from my boobs....they are always the first to go. No biggie nothing a pair of gym socks can't fix hahahahahha. I remember I went to flash my husband once and the two pairs of socks I had stuffed in there went tumbling down......sexy! Well gotta go....I need to go fill this day with my awesomeness! Peace Out!

Juice Cleanse Update #11

Day 6...early morning. Well...I totally cheated...I had dinner last night. I didn't go all crazy I had baked mahi on spinach....and it was amazing. I still intend to juice but yep I failed the total cleanse part. I'm down 14 pounds and it's keeping me motivated. So here I sit with my glass of lime water and soon my green juice. The weather is improving so I will have no excuses not to take the kids for walks and get my heart pumping.

The mornings are interesting...I still hate getting up....but not because I feel exhausted or sick....it's just because I hate mornings...I love being all warm and wrapped up in my blankets..I have always been more of night owl....but at least I don't feel as sluggish anymore.

I figure I'm about 10 pounds away from fitting into some new jeans and I really want to put on some sexy new jeans!!!!!!! So I can't just say...fuck it....I just gotta keep going...and I intend to. I had to have a pep talk from the hubbs tho...I got pretty down on myself....but even with the cheating I didn't have any booze, sugar, carbs or caffeine....I guess it could have been worse....I could have murdered a box of donuts and sucked down a box of wine like it was a Capri Sun (which yes I sadly have done before).

Well off to start my day....feeling motivated and ready to get back on the donkey. I know the saying is get back on the horse but horses scare me so I'm going to say donkey....plus the word, donkey is really funny to me... just say it over and over and over....tell me you don't laugh. No? fine...maybe it's just me. Oh well...I've always been easily amused. Peace Out!

My 5 Things Worse Then A Pap Smear

Ok....so one of my friends has an amazing blog, Solitary Mama and on Fridays she does Stupid List Fridays. Today's list was 5 Things Worse Then A Pap Smear. You should read it http://networkedblogs.com/uYHKD . Anywhoo....at the end she asked her readers to take a stab at 5 things that we consider worse then a pap smear....now I know how friggen awful those things are...but I think I can think of a few things....


1. Tooth Pain...it lasts longer and is likely more expensive.


2. The Kardashians....nuff said.


3. Getting Dutch Ovened.....that's when you are in bed and your mate pulls the covers over your head and farts. Luckily my husband isn't stupid enough to try this....he knows I would end up barfing and he would get to clean it up and in the end never get sex again.


4. Getting parenting advice from strangers in a store.....you know when your toddler is having a meltdown over pop tarts and all of a sudden some old lady who hasn't raised kids since the Great Depression tells you to just buy the pop tarts or worse when some hippie chick suggest that you buy organic patchouli cookies that way your kid wont have sugar withdrawals. My response to those people is never a nice one....but that is an entirely different blog post.


5. Lindsay Lohan's performance on SNL....I just felt so sorry for myself while I was watching it. Tragic.

This Is My Jam!

Everyone has a song or 5 that turn them into dancing freaks....it doesn't matter where you are...in your car, a bar, a store etc....for me it's anything by Flo Rida ....bet you didn't see that coming. My friends from back in the day would have bet money on The Pussycat Dolls or Black Eyed Peas but here I am it's not even 9am and I am literally dancing on my couch like a stripper to Right Round (you may know it from The Hangover soundtrack)....luckily the kids are up in their play room or that would be awkward :/ Not nearly as bad as the time I was dancing in a Target parking lot because I heard some Flo Rida from someone else's car....not only were people looking at me like I was nuts but then I fell down .....yes it's ok to laugh.......I would have cracked up too and we have already established that I am not exactly graceful... I am no stranger to falling down in the Target parking lots....heck I have multiple cities where that has happened....No biggie I live to shake my booty another day.

I however realize as I get older I am loosing my groove and getting more old lady...I have at least 10 years before my dancing gets lame WTF? I wonder if there is dance class to help middle aged women get less dorky????? I know I'm not pulling off that one hand in the air while bouncing thing....it's not pretty at all. Well, in the meantime I will keep doing the cabbage patch and running man....I got that shit down! (just don't ask my husband or friends or kids...they will disagree with that a little) Peace Out!

Juice Cleanse Update # 10

Day 4...dinnertime. Today wasn't so sucky...but I was distracted. My friend and the kids had pizza and there I sat with a pepperoni by my nose just sniffing away like a coke whore except there were no mirrors, drugs or sex. My friend felt bad but I told her that this was my choice and I'm ok. I came home and sucked down big glass of juice then water and now I feel all bloated and not very hungry so my normal nightly meltdown probably won't hit till closer to bed time and then I can just go to sleep! Wish me luck and if you see on the news that a crazy woman robbed the local BBQ restaurant but only took the brisket and sweet tea.....well that would be me.