Saturday, May 22, 2010

Making Mouths Happy

I have decided that there needs to be Mentos mints for your asshole.....I'm sure gay men everywhere would agree with me....and also some little breath strip things for the know how it goes....we get all showered and shaved, dressed up, hair and makeup done....etc...then we go out, eat dinner have drinks....maybe dance a little thing you know hours have gone by and your taco and buttcrack are a smidge bit sweaty and now you are not so sure that your undercarriage is ready for some quality face time....what do you do??? Personally I break out the baby wipes and hope for the best...but not everyone is as thoughtful as I am and...not everyone has a purse as big as I do....wouldn't it be great if you had a little packet that could fit in your pocket or stylish clutch that held a clam cleaner and rear entrance refresher???? Right before you leave to go sit on a chin you just stick a Tic Tac sized magic pellet into your booty and lay a little pussy pleaser strip down and away you go worry free....Tell me the truth all you labia lickers out there.....a minty whiff coming out from those lacy panties would be nice right????....and probably make you more apt to do a thorough job right?????? And we all know that there is not a damn soul out there that is willing to tongue tickle to a crusty smelling cornhole.....
So, I'm going to get together with the makers of KY and Orbitz Gum and see what we can come up with....untill a thoughtful sexual partner and carry some wetnaps or something. Oh hell...I almost forgot...stinky balls...I'm afraid there is not a whole lot of advice I can give you other then keep your berries groomed...spray a little deodorant on them before you leave the house and if you are lucky your conquest will spill a beer on your crotch.....maybe we could come up with a mini tree air freshener you hang in your boxers (good for 4-6 weeks bitches!)....hmmmm.....that's really not a horrible idea...just hang it on the button of your britches or around your dick and whoowaahhh your all set.....lmfao.....I'm sorry I'm just picturing what it would be like to rip my husband pants down and start to gobble on his knob to find that his nuts smelled like a brand new car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Peace Out!

1 comment:

  1. LMFAO ROFL almost pissed my fresh smelling vag. I personally spray a little fds in the puss and crack. i totally agree. i was told the other day that he didnt need a shower that he did nothing all day. I was just concerned with laying in the bed lol. I wouldnt know anything about this subject i believe in head for head so im not geting any or giving any. Dont forget the amazon. You have to keep it fresh. i know its a job but what the fuck no one wants to go crgggsh wait i have a hair ewwwwwwwwwwwww