Monday, May 30, 2011

Should Have Bought A Condo.....

I have a new fetish....popping weeds out of my lawn...and since my yard has more dandelions than a 13 year old boy has pimples I spend more time face down, ass up then all of 50 Cent's ho's combined. My neighbors are really stoked....not only do they get to watch my huge middle aged ass bob up and down like a giant whack an ass game..but I'm taming the shrew that is my yard.....Oh who fucking knew that grass seed was so damn expensive????? Are you shitting me???? I bought some to fill in the hole from the 853 weeds I have already plucked from my overly taxed piece of earth and was shocked at how much having grass is to cost me.....I might just say fuck it.....that's retarded....the kid's need milk ya awful to charge that much for some damn grass....I should just pave the bitch and be done with it. However for some reason I find snatching the unruly weeds very cathartic.....maybe it's replacing cigarettes....ooohhhh I would really like a cigarette (Capri Ultra light with the pink stripe on the box....yum)....what will I do when I finally get all these things gone????? I guess I could sneak into the next door neighbors yard and get theirs......I'm sure I will end up getting arrested for trespassing and then the arresting officer will laugh at me....I could find another outdoor hobby....I've always wanted a pressure washer....I doubt I could get into too much trouble with've met me......well...wish me luck and remember...when it comes to weeds....just say no....or something like that...Peace Out!

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