Monday, November 22, 2010

He's Just Not That In & Out Of You

Husbands always want all the time....anywhere...tired or not, hungry or full, set on fire or drowning in the deep to the few of you ladies out there who are having trouble getting your husband into the sack there are only 4 reasons he's not boxing your glove. You should know that it does not matter if you are awesome at sex or not...if you are awake and willing that's enough....sometimes you don't even really need to be awake...just aware enough to say "just hurry up"...he will do all the work after it is...and it's not nice...but let's just get honest here....
Reason number 1...his dick doesn't work....he may need the little blue pill and is a fucking dumbass who is too embarrassed and wont go get it from the doc.
Reason number 2.....he's cheating on this is only true if he's in love with his girlfriend and does not want to cheat on her with you...twisted right??? If it's just side pussy he will still fuck you but most likely only in the morning....there will no longer be afternoon cha cha cuz he's in the back of your minivan spanking the nanny.
Reason number 3...he's gay....
Reason number 4.....your clam has sat in the sun too long....he may wish to moo shoo your pork but the thought of your smelly old egg salad just makes him sick......and he certainly isn't going downtown for dinner if your takeout is nasty.
So....what to do???? Go the gyno and make sure your vag is ok...then buy some soap....if that isn't it...check his can tell a lot about what they like by porn they view....if there is boys in bowties you are barking up the wrong cock.....if its all tits then hack his blackberry.....Jerry from the gym is really Maria from the beauty salon and she's definitely teasing his pubes. No mistress???? His hose wont spray....he needs you to just come out and say HEY FIX YOUR SHIT..if he is worried and being a big baby etc maybe promise him some butt sex...he will be at the doctor first thing in the morning. Hope this helps....if not....get a dildo...Peace Out.

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