WTF Is This?

Was at the thrift store & came upon this...it had a slit in it....I'm pretty sure I was holding a used merkin. Lots of hand sanitizer was used after I figured it out. YUCKY!

Juice Cleanse Update # 9

Day 4 breakfast time. Well....last night sucked the big rotten cucumber....I cried for hours. I know I use food as an emotional crutch and without it I was forced to think of other things....and I had a total meltdown. I think I'm ok now...It was probably good to get those tears out. Today I feel sort of ok....but I am down 12 pounds and still no headaches so that's progress.

I went to give my kids some Capri Suns this morning (lazy me) and I always take a sip out so that when they grab the pouch they won't squeeze juice all over the place. Well, I wasn't thinking and went ahead and took the sip....OH MY GOD...that shit is awful! It tastes like sugar water with hints of something....not sure what.. but it isn't fruit. So...my few days of juicing have definitely changed my perspective of what the hell REAL food should taste like. Well...I'm actually going to go spend time with a human who eats today...and I feel strong enough to try being around people....plus if I don't do some gossiping soon I will totally end up drinking the bottle of Cake Vodka in my freezer for lunch...

Juice Cleanse Update #8

Day 3....just before dinner time. Well...I'm still bored...but more blah then bored. I noticed that I haven't been craving soda or booze....which is weird....I thought those would be harder to let go of then food. Back in the day my diet consisted of Diet Pepsi, gin &tonics and the occasional hot dog from the Pilot gas station. As time has gone on I am definitely more of a foodie and I am more of a wine girl but yea soda and booze are still my staples....so I find it odd that I could give a shit about those....

The cravings for meat are kicking up....ribs, chicken, burgers etc....I'm having a hard time feeling full today....and I haven't really dropped anymore weight. I'm feeling a tad defeated. When I say tad I mean I want to launch a chair into a window and smash my fucking juicer into tiny little bits....but instead I will blog and drink more stupid water. Cheers Bitches....

Juice Cleanse Update #7

Day 3...mid morning. Eh....I feel ok...just bored. I'm not mad, I'm not sad...I'm not starving but I'm really really bored. I don't think the rain is helping any and I have zero motivation. At least I'm not trying hide in the bushes to hijack the meals on wheels guy.

Wordless Wednesday 3/7/12

Juice Cleanse Update #6

Day 2....just after dinner time. Well...my hubby took us all out for a walk today....and it was a great idea. I felt great....better then I had in weeks. I am usually all about walking with the kids and pointing out wonderful things....and I just haven't gotten off the couch in forever. If this were the movie, Seven, I don't know if I would be sloth of gluttony but Kevin Spacey would have killed me for sure.

My headache is now fairly non existent and my motivation has kicked back up a notch. Don't get me wrong I long for some Chinese food and some vodka right now but I also long to be healthy and happy. So for the moment I am less homicidal then I was this morning....hahahahahahahaha (menacing laugh)

Juice Cleanse Update #5

Day two....late afternoon. I took a long nap....I still feel wonkey but not as bad. I'm back to being hungry....I only know this because when I was giving my dogs their treats I thought they looked delicious. I wasn't even ashamed of myself. I would totally eat a barbecued dog right now....jk....I meant the treats. ;)