Not so long ago I was told that being a mother was how I defined myself....I was insulted....now don't get me wrong I love my children and yes they take up almost all of my life right now and in ways always will but it's not how I define myself. I hate when people who do not know me at all think I have nothing else going on in my brain other than diapers and and fruit snacks. Have I lost a little bit of what I thought I would be? yea but hey when I was 10 I thought I was going to be a pilot....so things change...big deal. Other than being a mom I happen to be a wife...a wife that sucks at cooking, hates folding laundry and forces my husband to watch Project Runway but I have my cool moments too..those might be few and far between but I know I have them!
I am a friend....maybe not a great friend...I tend to be a bit catty, jealous and bitchy... but I think that if I got hit by a bus that at least 4 people would be really sad.
I am sort of creative....I like to write, craft, sew and just be a silly shit....the things that pop into my head may be a little weird but I am very rarely boring....I like having whimsy...life is full of serious moments, hard times and bad things....I just don't believe that there is no room for laughter in between all of that.
I also have goals....I really want to be on Dancing With The Stars.....yes I know to be on that show you should be "famous"....I'm still working on that too....it's a lot harder then I thought....I am good at being infamous....but the famous part is more difficult then I thought. I just don't get how the Kardashians are celebs but I am not....I refuse to get ass implants and have a porn tape just to be a B list celebrity....wait...I am willing to get the ass implants....but the porn is out....no one wants to see that....not even me...bleh. So my hope is that somewhere I get to save someone's life....like someone tries to rob Steven Tyler and I come up out of nowhere and get all MMA on their ass....Steven takes me to dinner to thank me....he decides I am awesome and blogs about me....next think you know I am doing a few talk shows....the world falls in love with me....I get my own show on FX or HBO and then I am asked to be on Dancing With The Stars. This is also how I lose all my weight and get asked to pose in Playboy...which I turn down even though I am so flattered.....did I mention my Emmy????
Ok enough about me and my bigger picture...I gotta go find my daughter's dance shoes and make a list for the store...can't forget the Capri Suns! Don't be jealous of my future glamour.....I won't forget the people that got me there and I for sure won't forget the bitch that told me being a mom is all I am.....I will send her a gift basket of dirty diapers and an autograph Dear Asshole, Suck On This. Love Always, ME! Peace Out!