Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Counting Sheep...Sort Of

Don't you hate when you can't fall asleep and the weirdest, random shit pops up in your head? Does this even happen to anyone else or is it just me with some form of Adult ADHD?? Anyways...I was tired...like balls tired but could not fall asleep and all of a sudden I was like, I haven't seen my cupcake maker...I wonder where it is. Then my thoughts just spiraled all over the place.... Why haven't I seen my cupcake maker? Did it make the move? (I hear a big truck outside) Oh fuck I bet my cupcake maker is a transformer! It would have to be a girl one because it's pink. There is only one girl transformer right??? I will Google it in the morning. That's so sexist... Michael Bay is going to get a Tweet from me bout it! Wait did Michael Bay even do those movies...is that even his name? I will IMDB it in the morning too. Fuck I'm so hungry...I want a peanut butter sandwich. Not going in the kitchen....other shit might be transformers too. I wonder what other appliances are...I hope it's not the toaster oven..that would freak me out. I bet my stupid phone is a transformer too and that's why I can't find that fucker from time to time. Oh my god, If my phone is a transformer I will never be president...all my FB updates, tweets, texts, emails....it thinks I'm a perv! I still really want a sandwich. Too tired to brave the kitchen. I wish I had a cat.... Why was the only girl transformer such a whore??? I bet my cupcake maker is out whoring around too... Where do transformers go to party? (I hear a sound...don't be the kids...don't be the kids...shit I better go check....no idea) Damn...while I was up I should have made a sandwich. I bet my phone when it transforms hides my flip flops on me....fucker. My flat iron obviously is the worst transformer ever....it can hardly heat up anymore...POS. I need to shave my legs. Whoa...how scary would it be if my EpiLady was a transformer??? Why am I even thinking about transformers? Oh...yea..Signs was on earlier.....I think I could maybe handle aliens if they were transformers. They don't seem like they are interested in butt rape. I think it would be cool if those Barbie Jeeps were transformers and then beat the crap out of bullies. Mac and cheese sounds good. And then I fell asleep. I think I should have just had a glass of wine and watched Pitch Perfect again. Peace Out.

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