Friday, February 3, 2012
Take Me Drunk, I'm Home
Ever been so drunk that you ask a complete stranger to hold your purse so that you can go try to have sex with your husband who is pissed off at you in the parking lot of bar...only to realize you are too drunk to get down the three whole stairs so you change your mind??? yea...me either but my friend and I totally witnessed that last week....hahahahahahah....this lady who ended up being the talk of the local watering hole was just a hot damn mess....first she asked us if this guy that was walking away from us was hot....we both responded....no not at all...not our type....she lost her mind....saying "he's so damn sexy" etc....come to find out it was her husband....and here we both just ragged on him lol...oops....dumb drunk bitch shouldn't have asked. He eventually came back into the bar to try and get her home but by then she had decided that she was just going to make an evening of hitting on people and crying....it was the best free entertainment ever....but the kicker...my absolute fav was when she dragged a blind man out onto the dance floor and made him dip her....but she fell to the ground and almost dragged him down with her.....we seriously almost pissed our pants. The blind guy had it coming...he was a bit of a creepo anyways....my friend had offered to help him earlier only to hear about cocaine and malpractice law suits etc and I was sort of afraid he was going to try and grab her boobs and pretend he was just trying to shake hands.....this is why I am not a good Samaritan....people try to fuck you....take that however you like. Moral of the story....drunk bitches are fucking hysterical....this is why I only get loaded at home....too many assholes with smart phones uploading shit to YouTube these days.....damn...why didn't we video her????? Well gotta go....I'm out of boxed wine and I need to hide my Flip camera in case the hubby tries to record me doing my Yoda impression again. Peace Out!