Monday, August 15, 2011

Forever Foiled

More venting...healthy eating sucks dick. A few of my currently dieting friends are so much better at the happy outlook of the lifestyle change....but me..no so much....I still hate water and every time I drink a glass of it I am convinced a sweet little bunny dies....and I still eat like a lot but like I said I am trying to replace my normal snacks with better for me options....and it is still feels like a kick in the ear. Like today I made a batch of cookie dough for my kids to cut a and decorate...and it said chill for at least one hour....ok...well I let it chill for 3 fucking hours and guess what...when I got it out of the fridge it was too sticky to work with (did I mention that I am unable to cook or bake?) and I felt all pissed off and defeated....now normally I would have just covered the cookie dough in chocolate syrup and eaten it all with a big wooden spoon while watching Sweet Home Alabama...but instead I broke out one of my fat free, low cal yogurts....woo hoo...much better choice right? Um...no! I was dying for some delish stress relief and instead...well....I ripped the lid off and went to lick the little dollop stuck to the bottom of it (cuz that's the best part) and.....I cut my tongue on the foil :( .... really???? was that necessary???
So now I'm pissed, injured and sad...I feel like an abused pet....I just wanna say fuck it, drink a bottle of gin, smoke a pack of Capri ultra lights and get into a bar fight. But...instead I'm chewing gum and getting my laundry off the line....it's equally pathetic to what I'd rather be doing but the chance of getting arrested is slightly less...I say slightly cuz of all the cursing and kicking of laundry baskets around the yard.....so....does anyone know if lipo is cheaper in Mexico???? Peace out!

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