Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Betty Crocker Ain't Got Nothing On Me....

I'm glad you can't go to jail for crimes against baked goods....I'd be so fucked. Today I decided that the kiddos would enjoy frosting some knowing it was a bad idea I got up to make some cupcakes. Why was it a bad idea???? Because I very rarely escape the kitchen without injury or seriously jacking up whatever it is I'm trying make....but my dumb ass tried it anyways.... I went and found my cupcake maker....I thought it would be better to use that instead of the oven and the last time I used it I only burned one finger. I gathered all my ingredients and utensils....I turned on some Pandora radio to keep me in a good mood and mixed up my batter. So far so good. I put the batter into to cupcake maker and proceeded to wait....I sang along with the All American Rejects and checked my cupcakes....son of a bitch....they haven't baked at all! The stupid thing must be broken. What shall I do??? I preheated the oven and found a cupcake pan....loaded the batter in and away we go. I sang along with Creed and decided to wash the dishes...thinking to myself well...this isn't too bad. I happen to notice that I never plugged in the cupcake maker!!!!!! Oops oh well at least I can finish up the batter..yay! But that's when it all went bad. Smoke starts coming out of the oven.....however it wasn't my was the shit I burned last time I tried to cook that was stuck on the bottom of the oven. Then it was time to take the cupcakes out of the maker....but.....well......I forgot to spray the molds and they all ripped apart and turned into itty bitty pieces....fuck. So I have one last attempt....there was still a little batter left......I spray the molds and dump in the batter and continue cleaning the kitchen up....but then I heard noises out front....apparently it was tree trimming day for the city....the kids and I watched for awhile...then they were hungry so I nuked them some lunch.....and OH SHIT the cupcakes....yep....I cremated them :( So pretty much the only cupcakes that I now have are the six that went into the when all the smoke clears we will frost and eat those....I will probably wash mine down with a very large glass of wine....


  1. They need to have premade undecorated cupcakes in the bakery isle

  2. They need to have premade undecorated cupcakes in the bakery isle

  3. well, wrong profile that it was posted from.. That was from jennifer newsom