Saturday, July 23, 2011

Cute Popsicle Bunting!

Well my pre schooler is brilliant....I was sitting on the couch with a bunch of popsicle sticks and she asked me what I was I said I was trying to think of something fun to do with them and she said...MOM!!!!! Make Popsicles!!!....yep she is brilliant.

So I cut out popsicle shapes (freehand obviously) from a well worked (that means old) shirt box. Then I let her paint and decorate them....She loves her some glitter :)

Then we glued the sticks to the back (I used tacky glue but Elmers or hot glue would work just fine) and then we glued some string we found in the basement across the backs of all of the popsicles and hung them up across the kitchen windows.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE it....we had a ton of fun and it turned out to be a great summer decoration.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Just had a...I Hate Myself Moment.....I turned into exactly what I resent....the boring voice of reason. There is not much that I love more then to get all fired up over something really stupid....I like to Tweet evil shit about whatever/whoever pissed me off...I like to talk on and on to my husband about the wrongs of it and I like to post obscenities all over my blog about it....and just when my juices are flowing and I'm feeling all excited and happy about my retaliation some "boring" asshole comes along to poo poo it...they tell me it's no big need to be so upset etc etc and then I fucking hate them! Well....just today I crapped on a friends I feel like a big douche. You know life gets so routine and day to day and sometimes all we have is the little makes us feel alive and real....and after a day of diapers and dinner dishes my ranting is all I have to make me feel important....and I took that away from someone.... I'm pretty much a to my fellow fighter of dumbshit....I'm sorry and will proceed to go fuck myself....and not in a fun way. Peace Out!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Emmy Plegmy

Anyone else see the Emmy noms??? Most my fav shows got little to no attention....well ok not true, Game Of Thrones, True Blood & Boardwalk Empire all got some well deserved nods...I noticed Project Runway and Raising hope got a glance but it's obvious that this year it's all about Glee...not that I don't like Glee...I do....but it's a filler...something to watch when awesome shows are not on...I guess my tastes suck..I don't care for Mad Men (which I thought I would love) or 30 Rock, The Office and I'm even sick of House....Oh and wtf Idol??? Really...that was such a huge crash and burn and yet there it is all over the nomination list. Where in the hell was Sons Of Anarchy? No Chelsea Lately either....I really need to start my own award show....Best Fucked Up Marriage goes to Sister Wives, Best Gator Murder.... Swamp People, The Coolest Bitch Beatdown....Maggie Siff of SOA.....etc etc...I will call it The SPL Awards (Shit People Like).....all the Gleeks of the world can watch The Emmys and all the dicks can watch my show. We all know I will still watch The Emmys....I'm an award show junkie...but there will be a lot of pissy tweets streaming....Who nominated that dork? #EmmyAwards2011...Shut Up I hate your show #EmmyAwards2011...Where's the nip slip? #EmmyAwards2011. Peace Out

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Shake Shake Shake Senora

So I've been trying to find salt and pepper shakers that I like but since I'm cheap I just can't bring myself to spend 15.00 or more on shakers....and since I hate pepper I don't use them all that often....we do have a set but they are friggen tiny and need to be refilled like every while hunting in the dollar store for items to decorate a tropical hat with I found some nice sized for a buck I had to get them....however they were clear and boring.....but not for long :)

I started off by sanding and taping them....

Then I sprayed them gold.....

I Mod Podged some feathers (that I always have in my stash) on top and finished off with a clear coat. These are much more fun :)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I Got Bank!

We've been keeping all the spare change in a plastic baggy....which works just fine but me needing to do a quick craft before my head exploded decided to turn an empty formula can into a coin bank. It took like no time and cost me nothing...I had all the stuff on hand in my craft stash....I put a little slit in the lid, took the wrapper off the can and decorated it with napkin...gotta love Mod Podge!!!!!

Don't mind the salt and pepper shakers....that's another project I'm working on....

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Puppy Power

I've been the proud owner of a black lab puppy for like and hour and a half and already I am going nuts....that little fucker has already marked my fridge and pulled the towels off the clothes line....really?????? I knew puppies were a pain in the ass and all but god damn it leave my fucking laundry alone (I hate doing it to begin with much less having to do extra)...and if I slip in a puddle of piss while trying to fill up my glass of wine someone will get neutered at home :/ This is all my fault anyways....I've been having moments where I want another baby so I decided to get a puppy instead (dumbass)....but hey he's here and cute as balls so I'm sure we can work it out....and at least this way I can still have some I can toss his ass outside when he gets on my last nerve...can't really do that with small services frowns on that...wish me luck! Peace Out!

Sunday, July 3, 2011


Blow jobs....what's the deal ladies??? Why are you against sucking a little dick (pun intended)...I get it....this day & age there are nasty cooties all over the place so no, you are not just gonna go bobbing for penis on just any man...yucky....but in a happy committed relationship why are so many women still so afraid of tongue slapping their man's mini me? You prudes are stupid....BJs have a lot of power....oh wait did you expect me to tell you how they bring you closer to your partner via increased sexual pleasure???? Well it can and that's nice and all BUT if you are smart it will get you out of nights when you don't feel like having regular intercourse and if you are lucky....a quick one in the parking lot of the local mall will score you a new pair of shoes (maybe even some perfume). They say the pen is mightier then the is knob gobbling....suck that sword hard and proud for a few minuets (well maybe longer if you haven't had much practice) and you will have more power than you ever dreamed of....ever have a man come home after a night out with the boys and he's all ready to go "whispering" all sorts of stupid crap (your boobs are like little kegs of beer...or.. you know I'm sexy lets do me) and smelling like they rolled in fried mushrooms and Jack Daniels??? Yea a fast and easy way to get him to pass out is to suck his dick.....then when he wakes up in the morning not only will he think you are amazing and understanding but he won't give you shit when you ask him to cut the grass. (Lucky me my hubby is not dumb enough to come home like that...and he still cuts the grass). What about nights when you've stayed up late watching some Lifetime movie and your man thinks it's time to get all steamy but you just wanna go to bed... blow don't even have to take off your jammies and in 3 minuets you are fast asleep my friend ...and for you not to take advantage of this is straight up helmet wearing retarded. I know some women find it'd rather get to rinse my mouth out with some Listerine for a few seconds then have that stuff dripping down my leg for hours or wake up to find the rubber still floating in the toilet....eeewwww. Plus...if you give him a little head from time to time they are more then willing to give you some too....not that men ever seem to really need motivation for that....most men can't wait to eat out at the sushi bar....which brings me to another point.....what's with the ladies who don't like getting kitty a bath???? The one reason a normal woman would not like it is because she doesn't like the person doing it.....and sometimes that doesn't even hinder the enjoyment. Some men are not as good at it...but no man wants to be bad at it so they don't mind a little just need to do guide long as you use the sexy voice they won't get offended....slow down, speed up, higher, lower, wetter etc are all fine things to say as long as you use that lusty voice with a little moan in between....then they take mental notes of what breaks the dam so that next time they can feel like the tuna tasting king. I've heard a few prudes say they find getting oral is disgusting....really...but letting an ugly penis slam in and out of your vagina is beautiful??? I don't know about you but having my lady bits smooched by the man I love seems a lot less horrifying then having his huge ball sack slam against my asshole while he beats the hell out of my whoo ha....however it's just as enjoyable :) yea come on you frigid bitches....go getcha some new shoes! Peace Out!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

tweeny bopper project

Need some cheap summer fun? No..not me after a bottle of 3 Buck Chuck...I'm talking about upcycled plastic store bags. Just cut out the middle section of a few different bags

and braid them...ta da..super cute...super cheap bracelet. Use bags from different stores to get mixes of color and if you want you can add some beads or being cheap I would just cut up some colored drinking straws and use those. Enjoy and Peace Out!

Friday, July 1, 2011

...No Matter What They Say....

Katy Perry's Firework, Lady Gaga's Born This Way & Pink's Perfect.....all amazing songs....all of them telling people it's ok to be who you are....and I would like to thank them for a mother of 3 crazy and different children it makes me happy to hear a song telling them they are awesome. I'm going to get some grief about this from some more of the uptight crowd but they can suck can be happy being you and I can be happy being me...and all I really want in this world is for my children to be happy being who they are. I have a great mix in my family, tall, short, blonde, brunette, ginger, strong, smart, silly and the freckles...but all that is "normal" .... I am also a proud momma of a hand flapper and two of my children have interesting know the kind of stuff that make people stare and say shitty comments....and yea we get it a when I hear Lady Gaga singing...."I'm beautiful in my way cause God makes no mistakes" warms my heart..... I know that if I tell my kids not to care about what everyone else wants them to be they will roll their eyes at me...BUT if Pink sings a song about it then they just might listen. I know some people don't even know who Katy Perry is....because they don't listen to "that kind of music" (followed by the look of disgust that I do)....but any person who tells my child.."baby, you're a firework Come on, show 'em what you're worth".. is cool in my book. ...I know there are several other artists that have done songs similar to these.....and I hope there will be more to come....and I'm thankful that they are inspired to do so....Peace out!